la première coupe est la plus profonde
(FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST)
Green trees. Rocky pathway. Humidity. Jacquelyn is walking towards the bamboo bridge. She wasn’t scared at all. There were a few people in front of her, and there are some behind her walking towards the same direction. There was no familiar face except for one.
3 hours ago, Jacquelyn Renaud was standing in front of her mirror crying her eyes out. She said to herself,
“How come I’m back here? Why did it happen again? Why, of all people, another loser break my heart?”.
Apparently Philippe, her boyfriend for 2 years broke up with her.
Jacqy, as most people call her is on her late 20’s and is a very successful University Professor, recalls how the breaking-up conversation happened. Philippe is 34 years old and a General Manager of a 5-star hotel. He is intelligent and good-looking man. One lazy Sunday afternoon, Philippe just came from a tennis game came home to the apartment. He greeted Jacqy with a kiss on the forehead, and whispered,
“Babe, we have to talk”.
Jacqy replied,
“Just a minute babe, I’m just gonna send this email to my students. I’ll be in the lounge in a sec."
The excited girlfriend had something in her mind like, “Is he going to propose? Are we going to move out and move to a new apartment? Are we pushing thru our Euro Trip?”. Loads of questions are playing in Jacqy’s mind, while closing her lappy and walked towards the lounge. While she was walking towards the Philippe, she saw him sitting on the couch with a huge frown, as if something's wrong. Then Jacqy asked,
“Babe, are you alright?”. Philippe didn’t reply. Jacqy asked again, “Phil, baby, what’s wrong? Did you lose the game? Is it about work? What’s bothering you babe?”
Then Philippe, held Jacqy’s right hand, looked at her in the eye and said
“I’m sorry babe. I don’t think this is working. You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone else. I love you, but I’m not inlove with you anymore.”
“He is no longer inlove with me?” Why do I have a lot of unanswered questions? Why did I let him go?”
Jacqy couldn’t help but to cry while looking at her reflection in the mirror. She just moved back to her old apartment and was about the unpack her stuff. For the past 150 minutes, she didn’t do anything but to cry and listen to old and classic love songs. Then she looked at all her stuff in the boxes she couldn’t help but to cry again and again. So she got up, tied her hair up, wore a big shirt over a black leggings and put her running shoes on. She got her car keys and drove off to the hillside to have a quick run or maybe a long walk. After 15 minutes, she arrived Lusha Mountain. Jacqy got off her car and started running.
Lusha Mountain is located in a suburban area and there are just a few locals who go there and do some bit of a body stretch. Jacqy followed this pathway where everybody else is going. She ran as if someone’s chasing her. Jacqy didn’t realize that she is crying while running. People saw her and started wondering what’s up with this beautiful and smart looking woman. She is crying her eyes out and tears on her face. On her 3rd lap, Jacqy, panting and trying to catch her breath, stepped on a small rock and suddenly fell on the ground. It was a hard fall. There and then she realized she’s hurt. Her heart’s broken into pieces and the man she thought would be with her forever left her helplessly. She had a quick flashback of every memory she had with Philippe, from the day they met in a Art Opening Exhibit till the day she moved out of his apartment.
At that point, everything became so clear to Jacqy: Philippe’s gone and she has to move on and move forward. Then she got up, wiped and cleaned her face, breathed three times and started to walk. After a few steps, she saw this small light in the opposite side of the road. She then followed this light without knowing where it leads her.
In awe, Jacqy grinned while staring at this familiar face. She said to herself,
“ I know this person, I Just don’t remember his name and how we met”.
Then after 2 minutes, this person whom Jacqy saw approached her and said,
“ Hi Jacquelyn, do you still remember me?”.
Jacqy replied,
“I’m sorry I have a bad memory , though its possible that we know each other because you really look familiar.”
Then the person responded,
“Its Noel, we have known each other since we were kids. We were neighbors back then till we move to Corsica. We even went to the prom together.”
Jacqy was so amazed with this guy’s memory. Suddenly she remembered and replied with sarcasm,
“Oh, you are the first person who broke my heart. Thank you very much. This isn’t a good time. Have a great life!”
Jacqy then walked a few steps back and went to another direction, and started crying again. Noel, followed Jacqy’s path and tried talking to her,
“Jacquelyn, please wait. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just got back from Corsica a few days ago. I went to your house but your dad said, you’ve already moved out. Since you are the only friend I’ve had in this neighborhood, I paid a visit. I was planning to meet and catch up. I’m sorry if I caught you in the wrong time.”
Noel took a pause and stared at his first love. Then, Jacquelyn said,
“ I have already moved on and forgot about my past. You are one of them, so I don’t think I still have words to tell you. I have changed. I don’t think I’m still the same Jacqy you knew 15 years ago. I’m really sorry, I have to leave now. Bye!”
Jacquelyn left in a hurry as if she is running a marathon.
When Jacqy reached home, she found herself a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, her favorite Chilean wine, turned on her iPod, put it into speaker and played some jazz music. Norah Jones’s songs are her favorite comfort-music. At this time, Jacqy really wanted to cry, but she can’t. She doesn’t know how is she going to handle everything, her life, her career and her heart. All she wanted is just to be happy, to be contented and to be loved. She thought of traveling to Greece to unwind and relax. She wants to be away for some time so she can find herself and know what she really wants. She poured another red into her glass till she finished half of the bottle. Right then and there, she fell asleep. No more dreams nor nightmares.
Then morning sunshine peeked into the window and woke Jacqy up. She didn’t realize she slept through the night without eating dinner. She got up, took a shower, grab a blue top and her favorite jeans. She decided to drive herself to the her favorite fast food to grab a big breaky. After finishing almost a bottle of her favorite wine, she is craving for pancakes with maple syrup, some strips of crispy bacon, scrambled eggs and a big cup of freshly brewed coffee. After 10 minutes, she arrived at Tiffany’s, sat on her favorite spot and ordered everything that she was craving for. At this moment, Jacqy is feeling so optimistic and confident with herself. She’s looking forward for what’s going to happen, and thinking of putting back all the pieces of the mess she made. While she was waiting for her food, she looked around. Most of the tables are occupied by same old customers, particularly enjoying their breakfast at Tiffany’s. Suddenly, a guy, came in. He looked around for any free table but it seemed he cant be accommodated, even in the bar. Then Jacqy realized she knew the guy so she called him and asked him to join her.
“Noel! Noel!”,
Jacqy shouted. The guy, saw her and smiled.
“Hey there stranger. Come and join me.”
Noel approached her table and sat.
“Good morning sunshine!”, he greeted Jacqy. “Thank you for inviting me over your table. Seems it’s a busy day here in Tiffany’s.”, Noel added.
“You’re welcome. You seemed so hungry. I thought to myself, what a pity you have to drive another 15 minutes just to go to another place. Hahaha!”, Jacqy replied with a laugh.
“I’m happy you’re in a good mood, Jacq!”, Noel said with a bit of excitement.Within 2 minutes, the waitress approached them and asked Noel’s order.
“I’m hungry so I’m getting 2 pancakes in maple syrup, some crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, make it soft and easy and lastly a big cup of coffee!”, Noel answered.
Then the waitress, grinned and said, “Whoa, its great to know both of you have the same tastes! Well guys, you’re food is comin’ right up!”
“Thank you!”, Jacqy and Noel answered in the same time.
“Going for a big breakfast, huh?”, Noel asked.
“Yeah, was so hungry. Didn’t eat last night, all I had was half-a-bottle of red wine. I even slept in the couch.”, Jacqy explained.
Then Noel said softly,
“I’m so sorry if I you got upset yesterday. Didn’t mean to. I realized that I caused you so much pain since I left. It already happened, we cannot bring the past back, explaining everything to you won’t help, I just hope you accept my apology. When I saw you yesterday, the guilt feeling I had for years grew and until now, I’m still being punished for what I’ve done. I’m really sorry Jacq.”Then Jacquelyn stared at Noel, smiled at him and said.
“I have realized that life is full ups and downs, and I’ve caught most of those downs. I’m not perfect. All I did was to care for someone and love that person with all of my heart, not thinking I need to leave at least 1 percent of the love for myself. I’ve already been heart broken a couple of times but what happened to us was my biggest heart break. We were young, immature and vulnerable but we were so madly inlove, that’s the best thing. I know you had your reasons. I know I had my faults too. I think all we have to do now is to forgive and forget all those heartaches we have caused to each other. Life is short, we have to move on and move forward as mature people.”Then the food came.
“Hahaha, What a great timing to break the ice! Thanks!”, Jacqy, told the waitress.
“Enjoy your breakfast!”, said the waitress.
“Bon Apetit ma Belle!”, Noel said.
“Merci mon mignon!", Jacqy replied.Those are French phrases they use to call each other as endearments. Noel calls Jacqy “ma belle” meaning, my beautiful and Jacqy calls him back “mon mignon” meaning my cuties.
Its funny how the two childhood-sweethearts are having breakfast on the same table, eating same food and looking as if its like 15 years ago. They shared sweet glances at each other. After eating everything on their plates, they are had their second cup of coffee. Jacqy uttered,
“I ate like a pig, now I’m so full!!! Hahaha! What a great breakfast. I missed this.”
Noel said,
“Yeah, its still good as before. Seems like the old times. I miss those moments, you know.”
Jacqy looked at him and asked,
“Why did you come back?”.
Noel answered,
“Honestly, I came back for you. After I finished Uni, I didn’t had any serious relationship with anyone. I haven’t been in love since I left you. That was my karma. A kind of punishment that led me back here, to find you and ask for your forgiveness. I was a kid at that time, all I wanted is to move to Corsica, meet girls and have fun. I’ve been there, met girls and had fun. But love didn’t follow me in Corsica. I think I left it here. With you.”
Jacqy was just speechless. Noel continued,
“I came back here, without expectations. Just wanted to see you and apologize for everything. I still love you. Even if it took me years to realize, you’re the only one for me. Well, I think that’s all I can say for now. Any reactions?”
Jacqy too some deep breaths and said,
“ Wow, that’s unexpected. I just came from a break up, and just started to pick up the pieces within me that are broken. I don’t think this is the best time for me to decide on this. In a few weeks, I’m going to Greece for a month or so. I think I need some Mediterranean air to clear my mind. Its good to hear the things you just said. Its heartwarming and makes me feel loved. Haha!”
Noel responded,
“As I said, I’m not expecting anything. That’s good, you thought of traveling. I’m happy for you. And I hope you find whatever you are looking for. I will be here when you come back. Not until you find a macho Greek guy. ”
Jacqy replied with a laugh,
“We don’t know what’s instore for me in Greece. Anyway, just finished my coffee, I need to go now. Thanks for the wonderful time! Hope we can do this again!”
Jacqy got some money from her purse and gave it to Noel but he refused,
“No, this is on me. I’ve been waiting for this for ages! Thanks for the time. Please keep me posted.”
The both stood up and gave each other a warm hug.
“Merci mon mignon! Au Revoir! ”,Jacqy whispered.
“Merci ma belle! Bisous!”, Noel answered.
Then Jacqy walked out of the table and left Tiffany’s. She walked a few yards to her car, while Noel looked at her from afar! Before Jacqy opened the door of her car, she waved him goodbye.
While driving her way home, Jacqy was smiling. She feels relieved and thought to herself how mature she handled the conversation with Noel, compared the other day. She is now very motivated to finish some work, file a vacation leave, book her tickets, pack her stuff, and off to Greece.
2 weeks after, while Jacqy was queue in the check-in counter in Airport, someone approached her and whispered.
“This time, no one will be left alone. I love you and I don’t wanna spend a day, a week or even a month not being with you. I’m going to Greece with you. Le plus grand faible des hommes, c'est l'amour qu'ils ont de la vie 1.”
Then suddenly, Jacqy didnt realize that she's already crying when she saw Noel. He, wiped her tears, hugged her so tight, and said
“I love you. Are you ready for our Greek Adventure?”.
Jacqy nodded and said,
“Yes! I love you too. I am now ready to start a new beginning. I’m now ready to start a new life with you. Aimer et être aimé sera la grande affaire de toute notre vie2.”
Right then and there, they kissed.
Notes:
1- Man's greatest weakness is his love of life.
2- To love and be loved will be the greatest event in our lives.
by:
jessie-marie
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